


i cannot distinguish the truth

by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Captivity, Face-Fucking, Hydra Steve Rogers, Kidnapped Tony Stark, Kidnapping, M/M, Morse Code, Mutual Non-Con, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:14:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29665053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice
Summary: "You have two choices, Rogers. Option one: you can trust me that he's alive. With this choice, he will stay alive until either you manage to get free or your idiot friends manage to find you both. Option two: I take you to see him as proof of life, but you have to do everything I say from the moment I take you out of this cell until the moment I bring you back. Refuse, and I kill him right in front of you. Your call."When Steve gets taken prisoner by HYDRA alongside Tony, he's not expecting to see a darker version of himself at the helm. He's expecting what thisCommander HYDRAhas done to Tony even less. The fallout from this particular round of captivity is going to be catastrophic.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 8
Kudos: 70





	i cannot distinguish the truth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [resurrectedhippo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/resurrectedhippo/gifts).



> originally started for the pots stocking event, but then life happened, so like. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ title from a Dostoevsky quote.
> 
> i know this says hydra!cap, and it is, but my knowledge of 616 is basically nil, so you get mcu-adjacent!hydra!cap. sorry not sorry.
> 
> TEN MILLION THANK YOUS to tree for looking this over for me before i posted. you are an ANGEL WITHOUT COMPARE!!!
> 
> hippo, i hope you enjoy, my friend!!

_"You have two choices, Rogers. Option one: you can trust me that he's alive. With this choice, he will stay alive until either you manage to get free or your idiot friends manage to find you both. Option two: I take you to see him as proof of life, but you have to do everything I say from the moment I take you out of this cell until the moment I bring you back. Refuse, and I kill him right in front of you. Your call."_

It had seemed like such an easy choice half an hour ago. When he'd woken up to this darker version of himself—this so-called _Commander HYDRA_ —his first, desperate hope had been that he'd been captured by chance. That it hadn't had anything to do with the three check-ins Tony had missed. When SHIELD had informed him, Steve had tracked Tony to his last known coordinates, and then marched another seventeen miles north and east into the brutal Russian landscape. Every step further had felt like a promise, every icy breath left his lungs like a prayer, and he'd hoped that he could get to Tony before their enemies. He'd been so focused on finding Tony that when he'd been attacked by the two dozen HYDRA agents lying in wait for him, he'd succumbed. The cold gripping his heart had taken on a new tinge, and it had made him sloppy. One of them had gotten a tranq in his neck and then he'd woken up here, with his own face smirking at him atop a body bedecked in HYDRA's colors.

Steve doesn't trust this twisted copy of himself. The creature wearing Steve's face doesn't say much, and yet his silence speaks louder than any words could. Steve knows what he isn't saying. The insinuation in the Commander's every taunt is damning, and Steve's chest aches with the knowledge mixed with uncertainty. The one time Steve had demanded to see Tony, Commander HYDRA had smirked at him and said, "What makes you think I'd let you see him even if I had him?" It’d been enough to make Steve sick to his stomach. 

Even without the truth from that monster's lips, Steve knows Tony's here. Knows it in some base part of his soul that's always been tuned into Tony. He isn’t about to leave Tony in this demon's clutches any longer than he has to. Tony deserves better than that. Sure, Commander HYDRA knows exactly how strong Steve is and can keep him here as long as necessary with the restraints he's managed to acquire, but if Steve can trick this demented version of himself to let him out, to let him _see Tony_ , then they can get out of this. Tony will have a plan, and that will be all they need. If he can get to Tony, they can get out of this.

It had seemed so easy half an hour ago.

Now, wrapped up in a uniform with HYDRA's symbol on his chest, an earpiece in his ear, and just seconds away from walking into Tony's cell, Steve isn't so sure about anything.

" _Open the door_."

Steve bites his tongue on the curse that wants to fall from his lips. He has to keep his cool, has to get to Tony, has to get him _out of this_. Tony's safety is the only thing that matters and Steve would flay the skin from his own bones if that was what it took to keep Tony safe. The rage born of Tony's captivity, of the snakeskin wrapped around his body, should be enough to destroy him from the inside out, but he can't let it. He has to do this if he's going to keep Tony alive. Safe. _Whole_. He has to do this, has to get Tony out, and there's only one way out.

Through.

Steve opens the door.

It's Tony, alright. Beautiful, perfect Tony, and for a second, that's all that matters. He's identifiable even in the thin light from the doorway, and Steve's heart beats double time in his chest at the sight of his friend. The arc reactor is the only light in the room, and Steve has never been so relieved to see its glow. He's here. Tony's _here_ , and that's all he needs. They're going to be alright. Seventy-two hours of silence and then days upon days of nothing in that cell had all built to this. This moment. Tony, lying here before him, holding the key to their safety in his mind. It's all Steve has been praying for, and here it is, right in front of him.

Steve takes a step toward Tony, his boots heavy in the silence. The lights flicker on, and Steve has just enough time to take in the two-way mirror to his right before Tony's stirring on the bed. In the light, Steve sees the proof of what he's only dreamt of before. Tony's stripped down to nothing, lying on the bed in the chilled room. Steve would be a lot more concerned about the accommodations if not for the fact that he’s so busy being appalled that Tony's been left in this state. Surely HYDRA had wanted Tony for his brain? There's no reason to keep Tony locked up and stripped bare. They could have gotten the intelligence they want without leaving him naked and alone in a cell. There are plenty of other ways to torture Tony that don't involve this level of degradation. There has to be a reason, but trying to understand it sends twisting shots of nausea through Steve's gut. Something in him knows, but he doesn't _know_ and that's almost worse.

What the hell is his doppelgänger playing at?

" _Walk over to him_." The voice rips Steve out of his thoughts like an electric shock. Steve doesn't need to be told twice. Tony's still coming around in the bed, and if Steve can get to him quickly enough, then maybe they can break out of here before his monstrous double can get his claws any deeper into either of them.

" _Don't react_ ," says the voice in Steve's ear, and before Steve can figure out what he might be reacting to, Tony's rolling off the bed and going to his knees in front of Steve. There's an automaticity in the movement, a kind of muscle memory, like it's the only thing Tony knows to do. Steve's heart stills in his chest. There's still that quiet whisper in the back of his mind, a damning sort of knowing, but he can't put his finger on what, exactly, is wrong. On why, exactly, Tony's movements twist Steve's chest up in knots. There's something going on here, and if he can't figure it out, he'll have to go to the source. He opens his mouth, but the voice in his ear cuts him off.

" _Don't say anything_."

When Tony looks up at him from the floor, Steve almost drowns in Tony's eyes, filled as they are with the kind of hollow grief that he'd sworn would never touch his Tony. Never.

All Steve wants to do is pull Tony into his arms and sweep him out the door, away from the nightmare their life has become in HYDRA's grip. But then he sees the thin ring of silver around Tony's neck, clinging to the skin as though sutured to it, and he knows his other self wasn't bluffing when he'd said he'd kill Tony right in front of him.

" _Tell him how glad you are to see him._ "

"I'm so glad to see you, Tony."

Tony flinches when Steve speaks his name. " _No names_ ," the voice in his ear snaps before he can say anything more. " _Do I need to dictate your words to you, idiot?_ "

Steve chokes on his response. He wants to insist that the Commander doesn't know a damn thing about Tony. That he doesn't deserve the pieces of Tony that he's stolen. That Tony's stronger than anyone under HYDRA's control could possibly imagine. He wants to spit fire and vitriol and whatever else he can get out of his lungs. More than that, Steve wants to get his hands around the bastard's neck, tighten them, and watch the life fade from his eyes.

But he can't. He _can’t_ , because that would cost Tony his life. So, instead, he has to stand here and do exactly what HYDRA wants him to do. That's the only way to keep Tony safe.

Steve opens his mouth, then thinks better of it. He shakes his head.

" _Good. Now. Tilt his head back up. I want him to really see you._ "

Steve blinks away the pain stinging at the corners of his eyes and does as he's told. Tony moves smoothly with Steve's fingers, no resistance at all. His eyes are sharp, but Steve can tell he isn't all there. Tony stares at him for a moment, like he's waiting for something. Then, when Steve doesn't respond the way Tony seems to expect, he closes his eyes and opens his mouth.

The knowing is there, on the edges of his awareness, and if he could just _think_ through the terror buzzing in his skull, then maybe he wouldn't have been so stunned by Commander HYDRA's next words.

" _Fuck his face._ "

Steve jerks, turning to look at the two-way mirror. The light is bright enough and the glass fashioned in such a way that even Steve with his superior vision can't see through to the other side. He knows what's there, though. The sick, twisted version of himself that's had Tony completely at his mercy for the last god-only-knows how long. Something in him had known what this was, what he'd been doing, but hearing it spoken so plainly tears Steve's chest to pieces. He blinks hard, trying to find the words, the _strength_ to do what needs to be done, but he can't. Not here. Not like this.

" _Don't make me tell you twice._ "

Steve slides his fingers along Tony's chin, his jaw, the apple of his cheek. It hits Steve again how much he wants this. Tony in his arms, in his _bed_. Tony is beautiful in this moment, (except those eyes, God, the emptiness there is almost enough to break Steve's thoughts away from the quiet way he wants Tony to want this) and Steve can _feel_ that beauty down to his bones. This—Tony in his embrace—is more than Steve deserves, especially now. Especially like this. But he has Tony within reach, and something in him wants to take whatever Tony is so unwillingly offering him.

God, what is he doing? Erskine had told Steve that he was a good man, but he isn't; he can't be, not with the way he can feel the blood in his veins meandering south. Not with the way something in him _wants this_. The bastard on the other side of the two-way mirror may have been the one to load the gun and cock it, but Steve's the one pulling the trigger.

He's not a good man right now, if he ever was.

When he hears the voice in his ear draw breath, he tears his hand away from Tony's cheek and undoes the fly on the suit. He pulls his flaccid cock out and rests the head on Tony's tongue.

" _There you go. I knew you had it in you. Now. Fuck. His. Face._ "

It's not any sort of sex Steve has ever engaged in. There were times on the front where it was furtive hands and desperate mouths, but never this. Never this base, this... degrading.

Steve slides his fingers into Tony's hair and does as he's told.

Tony's mouth spreads wide around him, his body whispering truths his mouth never would. Steve grits his teeth, willing his cock to stay soft, but he knows better than that. This—the wet heat of Tony's mouth—it’s everything he's wanted for years. His body can't tell the difference between a Tony that's willing and a Tony that's been coerced so long that Tony doesn't even think to say no. Soon enough, he's fully hard in the back of Tony's throat, and all that fills his mind is that he should have known better than this.

" _Tell him he's a pretty little whore._ "

Steve grits his teeth and shakes his head slightly. Tony blinks, and something sharpens in his eyes. It's only a little. But it's something. Then he flinches, and Steve can hear the low buzz from the collar. He opens his mouth to speak, but his throat is too tight, his mouth too dry, and he can't do this, he _can't_.

He clenches his jaw, closes his eyes, swallows, and opens his mouth one more time.

" _No._ " The voice in his ear is sharp and startles Steve enough that he fucks his cock even deeper into Tony's throat. " _No. Don't want you getting any ideas. There's no need for you to say anything. He knows his place. You can tell, can't you?_ " Steve's lungs empty in a rush, leaving him breathless. Shattered. Commander HYDRA didn't need to issue that order; Steve doesn't have the air to speak anyway. The sound of his own voice in his ear, clear and bright, is almost enough to undo him. Steve swallows and refuses to look at the two-way mirror again. No need to give the bastard the satisfaction.

He wonders how long the copycat played at being him before Tony found out the truth. Knowing Tony, he'd figured it out right away. The doppelgänger had clearly had no compunctions about attempting to break Tony down to his core, and that's a crime Steve will take out of his hide with fists and shield when the time comes. No matter how much Commander HYDRA has taken from Tony, he hasn't taken everything. For now, playing along is the only way to keep Tony safe.

" _You're distracted, Captain._ " Steve doesn't flinch this time, but it's a near thing. " _Maybe I need to up the stimulation._ "

Steve swallows glass, terrified of what might be coming next, but he can't fight this time. Not anymore. Not if it means risking Tony's safety. He gives a small nod.

" _Very good. Put him back on the bed._ " Steve frowns, but before he can figure out how to do that without hurting Tony, the voice adds, " _By the neck, Rogers. Just grab the bitch by his nape and walk him back to the bed._ "

The ache is back in the corner of his eyes, but Steve does as he's told. He pulls out of Tony's mouth and goes for his neck—" _Bruise him, Rogers. Make the bitch feel it._ "—and manhandles Tony onto the bed. Steve knows what the other him is going to say before he says it, but something in Steve prays to be wrong. That part has him ghosting his fingers over Tony's sides as he turns Tony over onto his stomach. He doesn't have a choice. He can't see a way out of this, couldn't even from his cell. He'd come here, desperate for Tony to have all the answers, and instead he's found Tony beaten and bruised, with all the life torn from his limbs. Steve wants to take the same out of their captor, but he can't do that without risking Tony. That's not an option. Not to mention that maybe, if he stays here long enough, Tony will tell him what to do. Tony, who knows everything, and has gotten them out of worse spots than this. If Steve could just see into that brilliant mind, could understand what Tony did, then maybe he could get them out of this before the monster on the other side of the glass breaks them.

" _Fuck him._ "

Heat flares in Steve's chest. He'd known it was coming, but that doesn't mean he's ready for this to be a reality. Before, in those rare moments that he'd let himself consider having a romantic relationship with Tony, he'd sworn to himself that, if he could ever convince Tony to look twice at him, he'd make their first time worth it. That they'd go slow, that he'd take his time. Worship Tony's body. Take him apart breath by breath and leave Tony desperate for him.

This is nothing like that. This is—

Steve grits his teeth. He doesn't need to ask to be certain that Tony was prepared for this before he got here; he can see the way his ass is slick with lube. Not enough lube, Steve can tell that from here, but at least it's something. He blinks past the tears and lines his cock up with Tony's hole, duty in every muscle in his body.

" _I believe I gave you an order, Rogers._ "

Steve closes his eyes, presses his forehead to the back of Tony's neck, and does as he's told.

He pushes into Tony's body in one smooth glide. His throat is tight from the way he can tell Tony's been used and abused for too long; his body just _gives_ , and Steve hates how perfect it feels. He waits for a breath, trying to ignore the way his body is reacting to being buried in Tony's ass for the first time. The closeness, the physicality of it is everything he'd wanted, everything he'd dreamt of, but it's all weighed down by the lies. The fact that Tony thinks he's the same demented version of himself that Steve's been faced with for days on end leaves a bitter taste in Steve's mouth. That, for all Tony knows, he's being attacked again after God knows how many other times. Tony deserves so much more than this, than for Steve to _assault_ him. And worst of all, Steve's _enjoying it_.

 _Not the perfect soldier, but a good man._ Hah. If only Erskine could see him now.

The sob comes unbidden, ripping itself from Steve's throat. Tony shudders underneath him, and Steve knows he has to keep going, keep taking Tony apart, but he can't, he can't _do that_ to Tony. Not to the man he loves more than life itself.

" _Rogers. Do I need to demonstrate my conviction?_ "

Steve squeezes his eyes shut even tighter, choking down on another sob that wants to spill from his lips. No sound. Nothing to let Tony know. He can't risk Tony's life just so that he can— can—

Fuck.

Steve fucks into Tony hard and fast at the threat. He keeps his forehead pressed to the back of Tony's neck, his hand gripped tight to Tony's hip, and his mind focused on every second of this. He doesn't get to hide from what he's doing to Tony.

He doesn't get to hide from the sick way his body is responding. He doesn't get to ignore the way his lips tremble for want of a kiss even as he violates the man he loves. And he certainly doesn't get to be grateful for the bruises he's leaving on Tony's hips. For the physical proof of what they've done. What he's done to Tony.

He doesn't get to be grateful because he doesn't have Tony's _consent_ , and what good is any of this without that? What good is having Tony in his arms when the man hasn’t agreed to it? None of this is even worth it without the knowledge that Tony would have walked away ages ago if he'd had any other choice.

Tony reaches back to grasp at Steve's hand on his hip, but Steve doesn't let go. This is for Tony's safety, and anything that might even imply that Steve isn't all-in might get Tony killed. He has to do this, has to keep Tony safe, no matter the cost to his conscience. No matter the cost to their friendship. Steve doesn't shove Tony's hand away, but he doesn't linger in its presence either. Tony's just hanging on for the ride and there's nothing Steve can do about that.

Tony's ass clenches around him and Steve's hips stutter. He grits his teeth and pulls out almost all the way. For a moment, heart in his throat and an ache in his chest, Steve hovers. His eyes catch on the way his cockhead stretches Tony open. Want fills him, deep and desperate, and all he wants is for this to _mean something_. He just wants this to be real. But even as he floats in that wanting, Steve knows in his bones that another order is coming. He just doesn't know what it will be.

" _Spank him._ "

Steve's body moves automatically. He pulls his free hand back and smacks Tony's ass.

" _Harder._ "

Steve complies.

" _Harder, Rogers. Use that super strength of yours._ ”

Steve blinks hard and does as he's told. Tony gasps in pain when Steve's hand meets skin, again and again, and then twice more for good measure. Tony's squirming on his cock and Steve wishes his body wasn't so responsive. This is Tony—the man he loves—and this is not the way he deserves to be treated. Steve should know better, should have fought harder, but he doesn't and he didn't and now he can't. They're both completely at the mercy of whatever this bastard wants of them.

" _Fuck yeah, look at that fat ass jiggle._ "

Steve doesn't flinch, but he must make some noise, because Tony jerks underneath him and Steve can hear the tiny injectors in the band around Tony's neck deploy. Steve pulls his hand back and spanks Tony until his palm starts stinging. The injectors retract, and Steve can breathe again.

" _Look at you. So fucking weak for him. Ready to do whatever it takes to keep him alive, even if it means breaking him in the process._ " There's a breathless quality to the doppelgänger's voice, and it's only thanks to Steve's super hearing that he makes out the rustling of fabric and the sound of a cap being popped open. His other self groans, and Steve knows what's happening on the other side of that glass. He tightens his grip on Tony's hip and tries not to cry. Tony's clutching him just as tightly and—

Wait. Was that—

Steve slows his thrusts and gets a sharp pinch for his trouble. That startles him into fucking into Tony again, but now he's paying attention. Tony clings to him, fingers wrapped tightly around his hip, and then releases, followed by four quick squeezes. Then Tony clings to him again for interminable moments and then—yes, there it is again. Long, short, long, long. _Y_ , in morse code.

Steve blinks hard, fighting back to the present moment. His hips are moving automatically, driven by evolution and desperation, but his mind is here, whole and attuned to Tony in a way he hasn't been in ages. Maybe he's never understood Tony like this. Because this… this is Tony finding a way to communicate with him while Steve _rapes him_. (Oh, God, that is what he's doing, isn't it? He's raping Tony, and there's no way Tony will ever be able to meet his eyes if— _when_ they make it out of here. But there will be time to worry about that later; in the meantime he needs to focus on what—) Tony is trying to communicate with him, which means he does have a plan, he does know how to get them out. And maybe he was just waiting for Steve to find him, or maybe it's a lucky coincidence, but the point is that Steve's here, now, and he can help Tony escape. His beautiful, brilliant Tony, who may never be able to look at him again, but whom Steve can at least help get free from this mess. Steve loosens his grip on Tony's hips and responds in kind. Long, short, long, long.

Tony exhales, breathy and wavering. It's the only sound Tony makes to acknowledge that he's felt Steve's response.

" _Listen to him. He's just a whore now. A slut for whatever dick he can get his ass around. And you did that to him, Rogers._ I _did that to him._ "

Steve's hand slips on Tony's slick skin, the words in his ear tearing at the tiny sliver of hope in his chest. Tony taps his hip this time. Quicker than squeezing, Steve figures. Short, short, short. Short, long, short. SR. Steve taps a Y back to him. Tony keeps his breathing even this time, and Steve fights to do the same.

ESCAPE, Tony taps out.

NO PLAN

I HAVE ONE

TELL ME

There's a sound down Steve's earpiece, the obscene, slick sound of flesh-on-flesh, and Steve almost misses Tony's next message. NEXT TIME

Steve's throat tightens. Next time?

" _You're not going easy on him, are you, Rogers? You know I can't have that. Fuck him ‘til he bleeds if you have to, but don't you dare let up._ "

Steve's hips stutter, and he stops short for a moment, pressing his forehead against the back of Tony's neck.

STEVE

CAN'T

HAVE TO

Steve doesn't shake his head, but it's a very near thing. He wets his lips and pretends the dampness on his face is all sweat. TONY—

Tony taps out two letters before Steve can finish. OK.

Steve closes his eyes. Tony has a plan, and if this sick, twisted version of himself is as sadistic as he thinks, then there's a very real chance that Steve will be back here in Tony's cell soon enough. He clings to the last vestiges of hope around his heart and reminds himself that _Tony has a plan_. Tony has a plan and that means they'll get out of here. They will. It'll just... take some time. But they _will_ get out. If this is their only shot, Steve isn't going to blow it.

That doesn't make finishing inside of Tony any gentler a punishment for his failure.


End file.
